HOW TO IDENTIFY AND CREATE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM

HOW TO CREATE YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEM?

Hey ScribeSquad! what’s good? How was March for you? Happy new month! What better way to start the month that by talking about support systems? In my previous video, which you can watch HERE (PS subscribe to my channel) I mentioned having a great support system. This got me thinking; there are lots of people even amongst my friends who either do not know they have a support system or do not have one. So today I am here to share with you how to identify and create your support system.

It is important to understand that your greatest, most valuable support is YOURSELF. No one, and I mean, absolutely no one can believe in you more than you believe in yourself. If you do not believe in your dreams and goals, then no matter how supportive your system is, you won’t achieve much.

The first question that comes to mind is; “Why do you need a support system?”

I want you to personalise that; “why do I need a support system?”, this would allow you identify your system and fast track your building a support system if you do not have one.

Most times we feel as though no one is on our side, hence the feeling of loneliness, anxiety and wanting to give up. When, we actually do have a herd of supporter behind us. So how do you identify your support system?

Create a list with the people closest to you, top 5 (can be less or more. The value of your support system is not based on the number of supporters you have)

For each person, pick one thing they help with. So, for me;

1.   DADDY – Hard truth

2.   MUMMY – Emotional reliance  

3.   JOE – Accountability   

4.   Cynthia – Listening ears

This does not mean one person can not provide more than one form of support, this is just to make it easier to identify what support they give. And so, with this you realise you have people in your life who support you. It might be a minor thing, but you know when it comes to said thing; that is your person.

One mistake people make is me calling my dad for emotional reliance instead of my mum and when my dad hits me with hard truth I get upset and say “he doesn’t believe in me” “he doesn’t support me, when he just isn’t my person for that particular moment.

A general rule of thumb is “Don’t share your goals and dreams with those who don’t support you”. You need to cut off people who always wash down your ideas and dreams, that person who says, “you can’t succeed in this filed, just give up” “your work doesn’t even make sense”. This does not mean you should ignore those who are advising you or keep those who praise everything you do including the wrong ones, but you need to cut those who continuously break you down.

For those who after trying to make this list come up short, then this is for you;

Consume other people’s stories, we live in an age where everything is on the internet, find someone in your field who is a success and follow their story. It might not even be in your field, but their struggles might be like yours, this allows you feel less lonely because you know someone out there survived similar situation and came out on top.

Also step out of your circle, if you have realised that those around you do not help build you in anyway then you need to leave that circle, make it known what you stand for and what you want to be known for.  Actively look for those in your school or work place who have your etiquette and befriend them, ask them questions and start a relationship with them. Do not sit there sad and sober that your current circle is not supportive. The same way you got to be in that circle you can get into a more supportive circle.

Finally, we need to find ways to increase our contribution – give support to others, being a support to others increases your value and this in turn helps you build a support system. Pay it forward, no one is going to support you when you have no contribution to their lives, no one wants a liability, be someone’s support system. This not only builds your circle, but it builds your backbones, in being the idea guy for someone you are able to understand better how minds work, in being the critique guy for some one you learn how to critique yourself. Be someone’s support system. 

I hope we learn to identify our support systems, build new ones and be a support to others.

Have and amazing week ahead and See you on Thursday!

STAY SHINING LOVELIES!